In this podcast I’m going to talk about small talk, why it’s important and give you some tips!
Ti invito ad accettare il fatto che non capirai tutto subito con un solo ascolto, cerca di intuire il significato con un approccio positivo e curioso ascoltando i ritmi ei suoni. Dopo utilizza la trascrizione e il language focus sul mio sito – il link è nella descrizione – per arrivare ad una comprensione completa. A questo punto ti invito a praticare il tuo parlato ad alta voce insieme a me ‘shadowing my speech’. Se trovi utile e interessante il tema scrivi le frasi più belle e prova ad utilizzarle nelle tue giornate, così aggiungi writing and thinking in English. OK let’s begin.
I hope you are enjoying the start of spring! The weather is getting warmer and the flowers are starting to blossom, so we find ourselves out and about and presented with new opportunities to interact with our fellow humans. So with this in mind, I want to dedicate some time to the important topic of small talk.
What is Small Talk and Why is it Important?
Small talk is warm and spontaneous conversation about light topics. Also known as banter, chitchat or shooting the breeze, it’s informal chat exchanged with a smile.
It’s not meant to solve any big problems or delve into deep issues like politics or religion, so what’s it for?
Small talk may seem unimportant, but the act of ‘striking up a conversation’ can produce a magic ‘social glue’ that ‘opens the channels’ between people in a relaxed no pressure environment where you feel comfortable interacting. This creates opportunities to build trust and learn about others, potentially making strong relationships.
The number one small talk topic is the weather: “Oh, it’s very cold today!”, “What a beautiful day” and so on, but other topics can be: events and festivities, food, films, hobbies and sports, yourself and family and holidays. Or you can make a simple observation about something around you and the other person.
Small talk for English learners
English learners often tell me that when they use English at work, they are good at talking about the technicalities of their job or they are confident when presenting their business at specific events, but they ‘fall a bit flat’ when it comes to simply chatting with their clients or colleagues, during a coffee break for example.
For language learners, the benefits of making small talk are that it will improve your confidence and fluency through speaking and listening and you will learn new vocabulary.
So if you hear an English speaking voice nearby, why not smile and dive into some small talk. Go for it! Starting is always the hardest part, so here are some examples about how to initiate some small talk …
Examples
Imagine you are sitting on a park bench and you want to speak to the person next to you … Simply offer a light comment like:
“What an amazing spring day!”
You can also follow up with a phrase like:
“The flowers will be happy after all the rain yesterday!”
and wait for a response.
Remember that sometimes people need a moment to find their thoughts before replying, so silence is perfectly normal. However, if you get little or no response, don’t worry or take it personally, maybe they aren’t in the mood to chat, so respectfully smile and walk away.
If you want to make friends, get a dog! When you meet another dog owner you can say something like:
“Oh what a lovely dog, what breed is it?” and
“Is your dog a he or a she?”
In a take away waiting for your food you could say:
“They’re busy tonight!”
“Everybody had the same idea, to get a pizza!”
And, the other person may reply:
“I know! It’s always very busy on Saturday night!”
In the supermarket at the checkout:
“This queue is neverending.”
“We could be here ‘til tomorrow!”
Remember that at work small talk is a very important networking skill because you get to know your clients and colleagues better, strengthening trust and relationships.
So, at work before a meeting to break the ice you could say:
“There was a lot of traffic this morning!”
“It was a challenge to find a parking space.”
During a coffee break at a seminar you could say :
“These biscuits are wonderful!”
“What did you think about the last speaker?”
Here are some top tips …
You can make a statement like:
“It’s a beautiful day today!”
but if you add a question tag to the end of the phrase, you will invite people to reply to your comment if they want to. So, you can say:
“It’s a beautiful day today, isn’t it?”
Remember that if the statement is negative the question tag becomes positive and vice versa:
“The client wasn’t very happy, was he?”
“The conference was interesting, wasn’t it?”
Obviously if you ask closed questions, where the answers are ‘yes’ or ‘no’, the conversation won’t flow, so use open questions if you can like:
“What did you think about the meeting?”
“Where are you staying in London?”
“This city is amazing, what have you seen?”
Remember to read the body language of the other person. It’s quite obvious if people don’t want to chat, but also keep in mind they may be nervous too.
Remember small talk shouldn’t be too personal, choose neutral topics that you’ve both got in common.
Don’t just talk, also listen actively. The more curious you are about the other person’s experiences, the more they will want to continue the conversation.
And what about closing a short conversation? If it’s time to go, or you don’t want to carry on with the conversation you can say something like:
“Excuse me, I’ve just seen someone I need to speak to.”
“So, it was nice to talk to you. Have a lovely day.”
As you can see from all these examples small talk is simple and it’s a stress-free way of practicing your speaking and listening.
So whether you’re breaking the ice with clients before a business meeting or chatting to a stranger on a bus, I hope I have inspired you to have a go!
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